Monday, August 30, 2004

N.G.

Spend most of the time durng the weekend playing rather than studying.. But still as compared to the week before, I have been a real good girl this week. But still, it's N.G.:NO GOOD. Did a timeline for September... It's then that I realise I have so much stuff in arrears.. Or rather I have so much work to do for the month. Gosh. Unbelievable. Didn't sleep well last night. Woke up at least 5 times... Why? Pondering about school again. Haiz.. Dun ask.. Losing sleep because of school? That's really new for me.. Unless we are talking about rushing projects through the night. Normal school days? Never and no way. But now, haiz... Whatever.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Athens....

More google pics...

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Flacuation of Climate

Gosh I cannot believe I am writing this again.. I am a true blue female. Fickle minded, fussy and sensitive. Too sensitive in fact. Why do I always feel so left out in class? Well, sometimes. I feel that I cannot be the real me here in school. I led myself into thinking that I have more or less fitted into the school but I guess I am just fooling myself. Positive visualisation they call it, but I seriously doubt it has any positive impact on my negative soul. Every morning I wake up, the first thing that come to my mind is how many things I sacrificed to attend Uni, how many other things that I could have done if not for uni and how many things I could have achieved if not for uni. It's a terrible feeling. I love studying and that's a fact that I cannot escape from. I have problems to deal with and that's a even bigger fact that I have to accept. Unfortunately, these two facts cannot live together harmoniously unless I work hard, in all aspects. I hate to have that foreboding feeling every night before I sleep and once I open my eyes everyday. Such issues have been bothering me for so long. Yet till now I do not have a conclusion to things. Goodness. When will I sort out my thoughts? Honestly, I have to sort them out like now. Honeymoon period in school is over, honeymoon period in my life has long ended. It is time to face up to responsibilities and learn things the hard way. I want to lose myself in my studies. I want to just study. Why must I bother about other stuff? Why is it that I can do that for so many years but now I have to realise that things aren't that simple anymore? It's a terrible feeling. Committments they call it. And I guess I hate it. Would I be really better off working? Is this where I should be? School and life is so trumatic for me that I can only seek comfort from close friends during the weekends. It's the weekend that gives me the motivation to fight my way through the week. It's during the weekend that I can forget all my worries and live like a care-free soul. It is during the weekend that I can lose myself in endless fun and laughter. Procastination. That's the word. Procastinate anymore and I guess I will suffer tremendously. But that's what I do best. I need a plan. Now.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Da Vinci secrets...

So time files and I am back from bixia's chalet. Btw hui, I still have not pay you back for the cake. Remind me.. The chalet, like what Lian said only made me think of my earlier teenage years more.. Gosh, time do fly. Anyway, I guess the older bunch have some fun too. Fun setting up and fun cleaning up and fun catching up a bit. Not to mention catching the shuttle bus to the chalet. Goodness, dun tell anyone but lian and I were like 'dumbo' when waiting for the bus. First we saw a green bus and ran towards it, turns out to be a private bus to a private function. Fine... Then we waited and waited, when to get food, came back and waited. This time round we saw another bus across the road that looked like the chalet shuttle bus, so we ran across the road and realise that it goes to Elias Green instead. So fun huh? Running around trying to catch the bus. Thank goodness the third bus we saw is the correct one that brought us to the right place. Anyway, today's the Monday and a day I dread the most. Coming back to school after a whole weekend of fun is always difficult. Anyway, got the book, 'The Da Vinci Code'. Recommended by my classmates and now I simply cannot tear myself away from the book. Amazingly, it offers more than any suspense thriller does. It tells you history about the lourve, secrets about some catholic cult (or not) and some secret society that really exist in real life. My sister wants to read the book but I think she might be offended by a lot of 'facts' (coz i cannot confirm if they are though it is said to be), they are so controversial.. Things that I myself would not have believe at first. I guess I would have to run some searches online to see if such things really exist. When I have the results, I'll post some stuff here...People, i recommend that you read the book, and if you are religiouly obliged, read it with an open mind... I guess that's all for now, need to go home and catch up with my readings. I am so hungry btw.. Need food... See ya!

Friday, August 20, 2004

An Unlucky Day...

As promised, here's today's pic from google... Today started off pretty much like any other day. When I finally reached Boon Lay Mrt station and trying to board 179 to the school, I sort of trip on the steps leading up to the bus. I hit my leg against the step and now I have a huge bruise 30cm from my knee. It is very very very painful. Especially when the fabric of my jeans keeping brushing against it. Gosh. I haven't had such injuries or bruise for quite some time and mow it happens. That's not all. The bell button where I was sitting in the bus was not working as well.. I kept pressing it like 3,4 times and it still did not work. Gosh. I think the guy sitting in front of me must be laughing in his mind. "First this girl fall and then the bell is not working now." He was practically staring at me. Gosh. It's either I look good or I look really distrauted from the fall. But thankfully, the bell mounted on the wall behind me worked and at least I did get off at my stop. Goodness gracious me. It is an unlucky day. Thankfully again, class was good. At least I did not do anything wrong or weird to attract any attention. Everything pass by peacefully. As for now, I am just passing time before I meet the 3 girls to celebrate Jane's birthday. Wonder what we are going to do. My leg still hurts. Hurts even more when I recall that I still have to go for lecture tomorrow morning...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Ah~Pella site

Dear fellow ah~pellas, I am suppose to write a personal profile? Let me tell you a secret. I have been writing so many self introduction and stuuf in school that I am beginning to hate telling people who I am or what I do. I guess I will just have to copy and paste one of the stuff that I have written. Chua Dai Di @ the chalet? I am basically fine with that. Well, that's what we do everytime anyway... Did I say I do not want to do night cycling this month? I thought I said I am afraid of falling off and causing accidents to happen to everyone else. Haha.. I am serious. Unless you guys dun mind babysitting me... I am afraid of cycling on the road with cars.. I really am... Just like the fact that I eat meat but not meat balls, roads with cars are not meant for cycling while cycling tracks are.. Thank you very much and I shall rest my case. Why did I post this on both blogs? Coz I think I need to fill up space. Or else I have nothing more interesting to write except to complain about school.. haha.. Btw, check this out.... Compliments from www.google.com.sg I think they change pic everyday... Interesting.... That's all for now... Love Chun aka Smurfette aka Elaine aka Owl aka some other stuff

Monday, August 16, 2004

Depression Part 2

I am going to continue whinning... I dun care what you think... I am just going to continue whinning and complaining and shouting and ranting... Sometimes I really wonder if I have made the right choice here.. ("gosh.. not those stuff again!")Would I be much better working outside earning my keep? Probably yes. My greatest problem("be positive!"), I mean challenge is juggling my studies and earning some money. For my school fees as well as my allowance. I am so dead. Everything cost money! Not that I am in dire need now, but I foresee it to be a big problem. Anyway. The only way out is working. However the point is, I cannot even juggle my time well! Or rather I should put it in another way. I have not really been able to keep to my readings and stuff. I dun even have time to plan what I should do! ("Yea? Then why are you here blogging?") Well, writing helps me to crystalize my thoughts. I dunno if it really helps but it's worth a try. As I am here in my school's lab, I am thinking about how I can make my life in NTU a better one. My fellow poly friends are opting for extemptions while I will just pass. I am afraid that I may miss out important stuff that is vital to the degree. Dun ask me what they may be, coz I may just flip.. I dunno okay? I am too prudent a person. I wish sometimes I can just leave all emtional, or spritual or mental baggage aside and have fun, do all I dream of doing. And yes, I am depressed again. I guess this will be the most turmoil period of my life... Up and down the emtional scale. It may not be a bad thing...

Sunday, August 15, 2004

A transition in life

It's amazing how one day of activity can change your mood, and more dramatically, your preception in life.

I am not feeling to well these days. I finally experienced FAILURE. Honestly, I have never suffered through failure, but these few days made me realise that I am not such a perfect and wonderful person anymore.

I told myself just 2 days ago that I have to lower standards of myself. No matter how good I am, there will still be someone better than me. I have to live with the fact that I cannot be at the top all the while.

I guess I am really in a different phase in life now. I am learning a lot things the hard way now. I am glad it's now and not later actually. At least I can still afford to make mistakes without much consequences.

I have to adapt to so many things now. I have to learn to take my stand and not be afraid to break the norm. I really wonder, do I have to do what other people feel that it is correct to get agreement? Why do we need agreement? I wonder...

I am not doing well in Uni. Not for my first assignment. I expect myself to do well but I did not. I may be too full of myself.

Is being the top of everything, everything in life?

Kenny, you said life may be a journey and not a destination? May be? I sort of agree and do not agree. Yes, without a destination, there will not be a journey. But what I was saying is that if we are too focus on the end, we will not be able to enjoy the process which may holds more meaning that the end can bring. The end is just a goal. It's how you reach your goal that matters not how well your goals are achieved. How many of us can say that the end result that we receive is usually what we hope it will be? Not all the time...

Read my sister's blog and this sentence striked me:
PUT ON A SAFETY BELT AND MOVE ON IN LIFE

What does that mean? Someone enlighten me....

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I cannot believe it!

Was setting up a blog for Ah~Pella and somehow erased my html codes. I am that good! To think that I have not save the codes earlier on. I thought nothing would happen. I cannot believe it! Now I have to live without a lot of stuff.. Well, maybe that's fine also. I need to get all my pals bloggie address back, so please leave a tag or comment or something with ur blog add.. Will add them real soon... Thanks.. Where I am? That has become an useless question. The library of course! Suppose to do my work but ended up doing all other stuff.. Haiz, I lack discipline! Tell me what to do!? Btw, I finally met Wai Peng in school...

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Fireworks, jokes and kite flying

Something I got from the Reader's Digest
On his first day, a newcomer to prison heard the other inmates roar with laughter each time one of them called out a number. Mystified by this, he asked his cellmate what was happening. "We know all our jokes so well that, to save time retelling them, we've numbered them," he was told.Thinking he would join in, the newcomer shouted "208." To his amazement, the whole prison shook with laughter. The cellmate wiped tears from his eyes and commented, "We hadn't heard that one before."
I simply laughed my head off this joke. I find it really funny somehow. Check out www.rdasia.com for much more funny jokes. Oh, not to mention the word games too, they are simply great.
I spent one of the most enjoyable weekend with my pals last week! We had like Indonesian food for two days straight @ different restaurants from Suntec City. I have to say it's different from other food that we eat on other days. Eating those food in such classy restaurant almost led me into thinking that I am on a vacation on some exotic island. Haha..
Went to East Coast to kayak on Sunday morning then to Parkway Parade to look for Hui's mum. Afterwhich we went to the game arcade and had some childish but great fun. We were practically hooked on a few games there. There was this skateboarding game, another waterskiing game and a water rafting game that we cannot stop playing! We had exceptional fun on that water rafting game machine. It so tiring! You have to row the oar so hard and so fast that I thought I could lose my arms! Haha... Jianming and Kenny rowed so fast that the computer have to prompt them not to do so... My gosh. The ultimate thing is I actually developed blisters and broke them. Wonder where I got those blisters from in the first place.
Went to catch the NDP fireworks @ Marina South. Well, we didn't reach our destination like immediately. We were walking and walking along the road to Esplanade not knowing where to go at first. THere were so many security guards on duty. So ultimately we went to Marina South and spent the rest of the evening there... First for the fireworks, then we bought two kites and mini 'fireworks' and played at the field. Honestly Kenny, how can you get so excited with a few bunches of sparkles that goes off in a while? Haha.. My gosh. He was simply running around the field with the sparkles and shouting like a little kid. At least Jianming was more tame. Haha... And not to forget to mention that we flew kite as well... At night that is. And the kites flew so high up that we could not even locate them... Had a hard time retrieving the line back.
Anyway, that marked the end of the weekend. And now? I am in the library again. Waiting for time to pass. This is how I spend time.
Haiz. I realise that I have spent so much time playing that I do not have time to organise my school work. Have quite a bit of presentation notes to prepare and stuff. I really need to tone down a bit and start to be a little more studious.
I hope I can.... haha.. =P

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Long Weekend!

Long weekend! Finally, 1 more day in the week for me to play and hangout with friends! Nope.. I am not going to complain this week... In fact I just wanna say that I am finally out of the 'dreading to go to school' syndrome.. Hee... I am finally dancing in sync with the cirriculum.. Haiz.. I am quite glad really. Anyway, I cannot wait to for the graduation ceremony this coming Thursday. Am already planning what to wear. Haha.. So glad that I can finally meet my friends. To date, I am a proud owner of a thumb drive. It cost me $89 bucks! My gosh. But I cannot admit the fact that it is very convenient! Bought a skirt over the weekend... Floral patterns and flare hemline.. So feminie.. So not me.. But I love it! And seriously speaking I have not bought anything for such a long time. I have really ran out of stuff to write. My brain is so stagnant! Probably next week I can write more interesting stuff....

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

The Ultimate 'Briefing'

On Wednesday in school.. We had a briefing for all the polytechnic students in CS 1... I will not comment but it was not as good as I hope it would turn out to be... At the end of the briefing, some of us just gathered at Canteen B and bitched... Mind you it's not only gals... And well bitching is a bad word, we had a constructive discussion and made some discrimating conclusion... Again, I shall not note it down... You never know who reads your blog..

Weekend coming soon and I cannot wait to jump into it... Need to work on Saturday though so not too much of a rest anyway.. Graduation coming! Next Thursday... Anticipating the day coz I'll get to see all my beloved friends again. I cannot wait to 'bitch' with them again. Perhaps it's time to look for clothes? Maybe.. I am now a poor student leh... Guess I will talk to my lecturers in poly regarding extemptions in Uni.. See what they think.

Finally, with my upmost hardworking-ship I finished my ever first assignment in NTU. Haha.. It's quite hard to do actually. Some mass media review thingy where you compare 2 terribly serious and political and slightly boring article and come up with a thesis statement. Hope I won't fail. Ha!

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Readings VS Rantings

2nd week in school and I am dying.. I think no matter which week it is, I would still say that I am dying.. Finally saw that 'famous' Joanne Peh in school today, well? She does not look that great anyway.. But she does have this charisma and charm thingy.. Right so she does stand out a bit.. Anyway, so far apart from all the terrible readings and stuff I have to do, I am begining to enjoy uni life a bit. At least my friends, (erm, I haven't met my tutorial mates actually) are nice people. There are a few, well, those type that you just dun like, around... But I hope I'll survive... So like in Poly we have this Balckboard thingy where stuff are posted online.. The amazing thing is the discussion board, especially for this subject we call Electronic Broadcast Media (EBM). Everyone's so keen to answer everyone else questions. If you did not check for say 1 day, you'll get at least 50-80 new messages or threads it is called. Crazy... Now... They are even talking about stuff out of the subject. They are talking about stuff for other subjects... Hello? This is not MIRC or something... Where am I now? In the Library... Waiting for the next lecture to start. So just trying to pass some time.. I guess those poeple who are waiting for terminals and see that I am actually doing something 'non-school' would want to kill me.. But hey.. First come first serve man... Till then...