ESCAPE!

I finally went to Escape theme park today.. Or rather yesterday! I dunno how long the park has been in operation but it was my first time there.. Haha.. A bit of 'sua ku-ness'... Anyway, before I went up to any of the rides, I will turn to my friends and tell them that I am terrified! They almost 'believe' me. The only 'happening' and exciting ride there would have to be 'ALPHA 8"... Since none of my friends have sat on that ride before, we were filled with anticipation as we wait outside the closed doors of the building that contained the ride... We kept thinking that it's some stimulation thingy but it turns out to be an indoor roller coaster! I know this would probably sound boring for those that have been to Escape before.. Do bear with me la. Haha... Laggard for everything... Enough said. In another 6 hours, I'll be leaving for HK! Filled with anticipation. Actually, I'm pretty worried too... Hope that everything will turn out fine! This time round I will post pictures.. I will TRY i mean. MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KENNY!

Dreams of a Toned Body

2:32am in the morning and I just can't get to sleep. So I thought I shall come in here and write a few words. Had supper with Huiz and Weixin earlier on. They were telling me about their jobs and all the jokes and funny stuff they encounter while working. It really seem that although design is not easy, the passion for it will keep you going all the way... So glad to see that they are enjoying themselves at work. Nice to have someone you know well working together in the same company. At least you will not be so lonely and bored. Then I thought about myself. Haha.. I was just wondering what I would do after I graduate. Seems like I cannot find one single thing that I want to do. It seems like I want to do everything and anything that I can! Oh well... Let bother with such things when the right time is here. I seriously need to start exercising regularly! Last night was watching this Taiwanese variety show and they were featuring these bunch of girls who are dancers. Goodness, their bodies are so toned and they look so healthy! Haha.. Source of motivation for me, but I guess I will forget all about it a few days later. Haha.. I'll be really glad when the day comes when I can just wear anything and look good in it. Wonder if the day will really arrive... Guess the best way will be to go to a gym, but the membership fees are so high! Cannot afford it la.. CHITRA! Any discount at Fitness First?! =)

Responsibility

Great! My blog now has body parts and even a maid in manhanttan... Haha.. Thanks for keeping my blog alive.. I would love to give Maria salary instead... =) Responsibility... What a word really.. This entire year I realise that I can be quite good at ducking the big R. Probably it's because that I am really lazy and I cannot be bothered by a lot of stuff. Or probably it's because I shrink responsibility for A to do B... Too many commitments? NOt really.. The right word is KPO.. Looking forward to my vacation this coming 27th to Hong Kong.. Eat and shop and eat and shop and eat and shop and eat and shop and sleep for the sake of sleeping...

Spring Cleaning

Sweep sweep sweep. People are complaining that there are cowebs and dust is piling up here. So here I am sweeping away. That's about it really.... Life has been busy these days.. From home to work to play and back to home again. Glad that although my friends and I are busy with our own stuff, we could still manage to meet up often for all those late night movies. My dear friend huiz is in Thailand enjoying herself. Hope she is having a lot of fun visiting relatives and places. Her absence these days made me realise that she is a really important person in my life. Haha... Or rather I should say that I realise that apart from another 3 or 4 person, I dun really have other friends to hang out with on a regular basis. As my friends would put it 寂寞 (ji mo). I think so too.. Spoke on the phone with my good old pal from secondary school a few days back and he kept asking me why I dun have a boyfriend. Haha.. My reason? Well, that can wait. I want to enjoy life as much as I can without anyone pulling me back. A relationship needs commitment and I think my desired way of life may not be able to fit a relationship in at this point of time. I think my idea of a happy and joyful life may not be that of the norm. People tell me that I still can enjoy life in a relationship. But my view is that priorities change when you commit yourself. Now, I feel that my priorities are good enough. At least for now.

Oh well... My social circle is not that huge as well... How to find the 'perfect one'? Haha... All the guy friends around me probably know me too well to want me as their partner... I know my limits la huh...

Whatever it is, it's family, friends, studies and my desired life.

Finally...

At last everything's over... No more books, no more exams.... At least for the next 6 weeks or so... So glad that everything's over. But I guess I'll just do average for all of them. Serves me right for playing so hard! Haha... As I was traveling on the MRT today, I was just hoping that I would bump into someone I know. Why? Because I have nothing to do at all. Usually I will just read my notes and try to study a bit. Today was all different. Everytime I reached a station, I will look around trying to look for a familiar face. Ultimately, no one I knew boarded the train. In between stations, I was just staring mindlessly around the cabin and had the urge to talk to people, especially this person sitting opposite me who looked just as bored. I don't have the courage, besides, he would probably deem me as crazy as well. Probably because of me anticipating the next station to arrive faster, it made my journey seems speedier than usual. This incident today reminds me of hope. Every day in our lives, we hope and dream of things we want. Probably because of such hopes and dreams that are keeping us on the run, tough days and rough times seems to pass quickly... Without hope, there can be no dreams and there will be no reality. At least that's what I think. Haha... Now that I have the time, I can afford to people-watch, day dream, and doing nothing at all. Exactly how I want my life to be. Carefree.Happy.No worries.

!!!!!One More Paper to Go!!!!!

Examination Period!

Oh well.. It is the time of the year again where I will be mugging for the rest of the coming 3 weeks or so. And I hate it! My friends are going kayaking this weekend.. Congrats to them. Congrats to myself too, for I will be thinking about how much fun they will have and not concentrate on my books... Shark's Tale premiers today! But I am too broke, too sad, too depressed, too busy to go and watch. Actually it's only the first factor that is hindering me! Oh well... as usual! I think I am going to do so badly for all my modules! Congrats! When I told Mum yesterday that my results are going to be something like C all the way, she stared at me! I think she's expecting me to do as well as I did in Poly. HAha... No way... No more Zs or As... Just Cs... Thank you very much! I cannot wait for the exams to end! I rather spend my time in Orchard Park running around like a crazy woman coordinating performances! There, I don't feel so stress and the bonus is that I get to be in TOWN everyday! Haha... This is what happens when you lock yourself at home everyday studying - YOU GO CRAZY! Actually, I think I am CRAZY all the time!

The Gathering

After such a long period, most of my projects are over!!! Just wanna thank all my friends who have brought so much fun and laughter last night at Pizza Hut. But I thought I was the CLOWN OF THE CIRCUS (Gracia, this is for you)! Now everyone will know that Doremon is acutally RED(ung, ung, ung) and not BLUE. And that Ah bengs can never start an enterprise together. If only we can have so much fun everyday, that would be absoultely great. Like what Gracia said in her blog, T5 rocks! Benjy(the peichun public school white ant and rival) and Chitra(I love the cereal) should have been in T5 instead! Both you are fantastic friends... As for now, let's just do our best for the exams, cross our fingers and hope for the best!

Avoiding the question?

Gracia, Chitra and Sharon.... Please pardon me la... Can I tell you gals after the exams? Haha.. Please. And about me not wearing sleveless shirts? Well, I think I look terrible in them. But you gals are like my best friend, there were a couple of times where she will made me try on clothes I dun usually wear when we go shopping.. I'll try okie? Hee...

Living in 2004

You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You go home after long days at work you still answer the phone in a business manner. 7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line. 8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies. 10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news. 11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job. 12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen. 14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. 16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW You Are LAUGHING at yourself.

The (almost) Forgotten Past

Sometimes, I wondered why I have done certain things in a certain way in the past. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart... Two person left quite an impression in my life... (1) the only one so far that always (still) make my heart skip a beat when I hear his name or see him (2) the persistent but unsuccessful one They just suddenly appeared on my mind... Be continued soon...

Winds of Change

It is the time of the year again... It is the time again that I start to wonder where I should go from here.. To save anyone who is reading from boredom, I shall just stop after the following sentence. "I am still confused." Change. My polytechnic friends. Most of them are working, some doing their part for the country, some still mugging... No more hanging out at Jupiter Cafe, no more hanging out at the Design canteen trying to catch a glimpse of those rumoured cute guys, no more "see you at the mushroom", no more deciding where to eat (BizPark, Engine or Mensa?)... All changed, all gone. Secondary sch friends. Used to gather once a year at Pasir Ris chalets, used to hang out in the prefects' room all time, used to stay back in school late just for fun. When will we meet again? All came and gone, just like the wind. Primary school mates? Only a handful in contact. Everyone's busy with a lot of other stuff. NO more regular outings, no more thinking about the old times... Hopscotch, five stones, "Dun friend you!" or after school higher chinese extra lessons. Even the building will be gone soon... All came and left and disappeared... Why do people keep looking back and think of the 'good old days'? Why not just stare ahead and think about the 'better future'? I have no idea. Do you? Or maybe it's just me...

Nil

4 More Weeks To Freedom Yeah!! Then it's slacking all the way... Yeah!! For Now I study everyday Yeah!! 28 Days to Freedom Yeah!! I wait...

Random thoughts

With one project down, I have a few more to go. Please dun ask me to count as I just want to put it at the back of my mind. At least for now. I was just thinking the other day about what other things would I be doing now if I haven't deceided that I want to study. That is when I realise that it would only be working. Boring~~ Most of my good pals are 'working-class' now. Most of them envy me because they rather be in school. I envy them because they seemed more carefree than I am. Building castles in the air used to be my favourite pastime. Now that I am engulfed by schoolwork, it is almost impossible for me to do so. So today, I decided that instead of spending time doing research in the library, I blogged and dreamt about life. I realise I dun really know what I want in life. I almost have no direction whatsoever. After 'O's, i debated whether to go Poly or JC and finally decided to Poly instead as I have heard how much fun it would be. Before admission,I thought about what course to take in poly for almost as long as I am allowed to before the deadline. Hospitality or Tourism or Biomedical or Business. I choose business in the end because i thought it is less specalised and easier to find a job. Come Poly year 1 end, I am suppose to choose my so called major. Business was too general and logistics & operations management was too mathematical so I choose marketing - just crap your way through I thought. Then after poly, I wondered where to go next. While surfing the net one day, i stumbled upon the NTU and NUS website and realise that they are opened for registration. I decided to register for fun. $15 isn't that unaffordable. Communication studies was my 1st choice for NTU because I heard it's quite a popular course with small intake and wanted to try my luck. Arts and social sciences for NUS for no apparent reason. Just wanted to fill in the fields to make my $15 worth. And I got in. Now, I dunno what I'm doing here. Communciation studies isn't something that I thought I would ever do. Oh well.. I just run through the 4 years and see what the future may be for me. See? No direction at all. I want to be everything.. I want to experience all sort of things. Probably I'll just be a jack of all trades and master of none. I dun care... As long as I know I am happy, my family's contented and my friends hang out with me. Come on life! Show me who you are!

60 year-old me

Some people says that it is bad luck to celebrate your birthday twice a year... I beg to differ... This year was a special year for me. I celebrated my birthday 3 times with 3 cakes, 6 candles. Hahaha... Thanks to all my friends. The biggest surprise came from my uni mates. One day as I was trying to brace myself for a Monday morning lecture, Chitra came along from the back of the LT and tapped on my shoulder. "Can you come out a while?" said Chitra. I could see that it was something serious. Chitra seems tired, I really wondered what had happened. At that point, I hope that it will be nothing bad. I followed her out of the LT and saw some other classmates sitting on those study tables. On the table was a cake with 2 candles. My first thought was that it must be someone else's birthday. "Think you could run away from it?" And there was a chrous of 'Happy Birthday' from everyone. It was then that I realise that the cake was for me! Hahaha... I was totally speechless. They are so sweet. I never thought that they would do that after reading my blog's previous entry. Thanks pals... And now it's back to school work again... 3 more weeks to the end of all projects and then the exams... All the best to myself.

The 2nd time...

In case you are wondering why I change my blog skin again, well, the HTML went missing again... haiz... I am still wondering about what happened... Now i am still trying to recall where i saved the codes... haiz... Someone help me...

23 September 1984

That was the day I was born... And so happens that today's the 20th year.. Had a huge surprise in the wee hours of the morning today.. Actually midnight.. My good pals suddenly appeared at my house with a cake! No, a NYDC mudpie! hehe.. And I was like staring at my computer screen trying to finish my assignments.. haha.. Like i said, it's lucky that I didn't just run into my room and lock the door due to FEAR! haha... Thanks pals!! Kenny - Xiao(3) Wang(4) the cat, Tinghui - The xiao(4) suan(4) nu (as in female, hanyu pinying) Jianming - The ji(2) ta(1) shou(3) Cailian - The hiao ah lian Hee.. Oh and my sister too for keeping the secret for them... Haha.. This year I received so many bithdays messages over the moblie phone. Thanks everyone too... Hee.. Did I mention that Mcdonald's sent me one too? hahaha... Not funny... In the midst of rushing on with our lives, it is good to know that there are people out there who still remembers you, who knows that there are people who care for you. Life isn't that bad after all.. Have some fun, crazily lot of fun.. All in all to keep us sane... Also, went for a medical check up in school... I'm healthy lo.. What else!? Except that I need to exercise more! Bleah! 0.1% more to reaching the borderline body fat ratio... Apart from that, all is fine... Haha.. KENNY! YES!! I WILL EXERCISE! YOUR DREAM COME TRUE! HUIZ YOU HAVE TO COME TOO AND YOU KNOW WHY!! HEE HEE!! Many more happy years to come!

Rush Hour

This entire recess break is like no break at all.. Everyday I am either studying, rushing projects or reading.. 1 whole week... Haiz... Dun even have time to update..Haiz... Till then~~

My Simple Life

Topic: "LIFE" Life is a sexually transmitted disease. ~Anonymous (Don't you just love this man or woman or something...) Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. ~Christopher Morley, US author & journalist (1890 - 1957) Life is too important to take seriously. ~Corky Siegel (KENNY!! THIS IS FOR YOU! THIS MUST BE YOUR SPOKEPERSON!) Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ~Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 - ) Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. ~John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy", English singer & songwriter (1940 - 1980) Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. ~William Goldman, "The Princess Bride" (This is good isn't it?) I am simply addicted to this quote thingy..

Random Timing

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ~Lisa Grossman (What does it mean anyway?) One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Nancy Astor,British politician (1879 - 1964) (Good for you Nancy) Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930, US humorist & showman (1879 - 1935) (Makes sense, doesn't it?) Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. ~Carl Sandburg, US biographer & poet (1878 - 1967) (Profound...) Nothing is as far away as one minute ago. ~Jim Bishop (so true...) Regret for wasted time is more wasted time. ~Mason Cooley, O Magazine, April 2004 (Yea baby...) People find life entirely too time-consuming. ~Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts", Polish writer (1909 - 1966) (This is the best one yet... Haha...)

Enough Said

I just wish i can blog everyday But dun even have interesting things to write Afraid I'll bore everyone else to death With my ever reptitive endless rants Holidays the week after Oh Yea! I scream with falter Homework, projects and term paper Makes me wanna run away further... Enough Said...

N.G.

Spend most of the time durng the weekend playing rather than studying.. But still as compared to the week before, I have been a real good girl this week. But still, it's N.G.:NO GOOD. Did a timeline for September... It's then that I realise I have so much stuff in arrears.. Or rather I have so much work to do for the month. Gosh. Unbelievable. Didn't sleep well last night. Woke up at least 5 times... Why? Pondering about school again. Haiz.. Dun ask.. Losing sleep because of school? That's really new for me.. Unless we are talking about rushing projects through the night. Normal school days? Never and no way. But now, haiz... Whatever.

Athens....

More google pics...

Flacuation of Climate

Gosh I cannot believe I am writing this again.. I am a true blue female. Fickle minded, fussy and sensitive. Too sensitive in fact. Why do I always feel so left out in class? Well, sometimes. I feel that I cannot be the real me here in school. I led myself into thinking that I have more or less fitted into the school but I guess I am just fooling myself. Positive visualisation they call it, but I seriously doubt it has any positive impact on my negative soul. Every morning I wake up, the first thing that come to my mind is how many things I sacrificed to attend Uni, how many other things that I could have done if not for uni and how many things I could have achieved if not for uni. It's a terrible feeling. I love studying and that's a fact that I cannot escape from. I have problems to deal with and that's a even bigger fact that I have to accept. Unfortunately, these two facts cannot live together harmoniously unless I work hard, in all aspects. I hate to have that foreboding feeling every night before I sleep and once I open my eyes everyday. Such issues have been bothering me for so long. Yet till now I do not have a conclusion to things. Goodness. When will I sort out my thoughts? Honestly, I have to sort them out like now. Honeymoon period in school is over, honeymoon period in my life has long ended. It is time to face up to responsibilities and learn things the hard way. I want to lose myself in my studies. I want to just study. Why must I bother about other stuff? Why is it that I can do that for so many years but now I have to realise that things aren't that simple anymore? It's a terrible feeling. Committments they call it. And I guess I hate it. Would I be really better off working? Is this where I should be? School and life is so trumatic for me that I can only seek comfort from close friends during the weekends. It's the weekend that gives me the motivation to fight my way through the week. It's during the weekend that I can forget all my worries and live like a care-free soul. It is during the weekend that I can lose myself in endless fun and laughter. Procastination. That's the word. Procastinate anymore and I guess I will suffer tremendously. But that's what I do best. I need a plan. Now.

Da Vinci secrets...

So time files and I am back from bixia's chalet. Btw hui, I still have not pay you back for the cake. Remind me.. The chalet, like what Lian said only made me think of my earlier teenage years more.. Gosh, time do fly. Anyway, I guess the older bunch have some fun too. Fun setting up and fun cleaning up and fun catching up a bit. Not to mention catching the shuttle bus to the chalet. Goodness, dun tell anyone but lian and I were like 'dumbo' when waiting for the bus. First we saw a green bus and ran towards it, turns out to be a private bus to a private function. Fine... Then we waited and waited, when to get food, came back and waited. This time round we saw another bus across the road that looked like the chalet shuttle bus, so we ran across the road and realise that it goes to Elias Green instead. So fun huh? Running around trying to catch the bus. Thank goodness the third bus we saw is the correct one that brought us to the right place. Anyway, today's the Monday and a day I dread the most. Coming back to school after a whole weekend of fun is always difficult. Anyway, got the book, 'The Da Vinci Code'. Recommended by my classmates and now I simply cannot tear myself away from the book. Amazingly, it offers more than any suspense thriller does. It tells you history about the lourve, secrets about some catholic cult (or not) and some secret society that really exist in real life. My sister wants to read the book but I think she might be offended by a lot of 'facts' (coz i cannot confirm if they are though it is said to be), they are so controversial.. Things that I myself would not have believe at first. I guess I would have to run some searches online to see if such things really exist. When I have the results, I'll post some stuff here...People, i recommend that you read the book, and if you are religiouly obliged, read it with an open mind... I guess that's all for now, need to go home and catch up with my readings. I am so hungry btw.. Need food... See ya!

An Unlucky Day...

As promised, here's today's pic from google... Today started off pretty much like any other day. When I finally reached Boon Lay Mrt station and trying to board 179 to the school, I sort of trip on the steps leading up to the bus. I hit my leg against the step and now I have a huge bruise 30cm from my knee. It is very very very painful. Especially when the fabric of my jeans keeping brushing against it. Gosh. I haven't had such injuries or bruise for quite some time and mow it happens. That's not all. The bell button where I was sitting in the bus was not working as well.. I kept pressing it like 3,4 times and it still did not work. Gosh. I think the guy sitting in front of me must be laughing in his mind. "First this girl fall and then the bell is not working now." He was practically staring at me. Gosh. It's either I look good or I look really distrauted from the fall. But thankfully, the bell mounted on the wall behind me worked and at least I did get off at my stop. Goodness gracious me. It is an unlucky day. Thankfully again, class was good. At least I did not do anything wrong or weird to attract any attention. Everything pass by peacefully. As for now, I am just passing time before I meet the 3 girls to celebrate Jane's birthday. Wonder what we are going to do. My leg still hurts. Hurts even more when I recall that I still have to go for lecture tomorrow morning...

Ah~Pella site

Dear fellow ah~pellas, I am suppose to write a personal profile? Let me tell you a secret. I have been writing so many self introduction and stuuf in school that I am beginning to hate telling people who I am or what I do. I guess I will just have to copy and paste one of the stuff that I have written. Chua Dai Di @ the chalet? I am basically fine with that. Well, that's what we do everytime anyway... Did I say I do not want to do night cycling this month? I thought I said I am afraid of falling off and causing accidents to happen to everyone else. Haha.. I am serious. Unless you guys dun mind babysitting me... I am afraid of cycling on the road with cars.. I really am... Just like the fact that I eat meat but not meat balls, roads with cars are not meant for cycling while cycling tracks are.. Thank you very much and I shall rest my case. Why did I post this on both blogs? Coz I think I need to fill up space. Or else I have nothing more interesting to write except to complain about school.. haha.. Btw, check this out.... Compliments from www.google.com.sg I think they change pic everyday... Interesting.... That's all for now... Love Chun aka Smurfette aka Elaine aka Owl aka some other stuff

Depression Part 2

I am going to continue whinning... I dun care what you think... I am just going to continue whinning and complaining and shouting and ranting... Sometimes I really wonder if I have made the right choice here.. ("gosh.. not those stuff again!")Would I be much better working outside earning my keep? Probably yes. My greatest problem("be positive!"), I mean challenge is juggling my studies and earning some money. For my school fees as well as my allowance. I am so dead. Everything cost money! Not that I am in dire need now, but I foresee it to be a big problem. Anyway. The only way out is working. However the point is, I cannot even juggle my time well! Or rather I should put it in another way. I have not really been able to keep to my readings and stuff. I dun even have time to plan what I should do! ("Yea? Then why are you here blogging?") Well, writing helps me to crystalize my thoughts. I dunno if it really helps but it's worth a try. As I am here in my school's lab, I am thinking about how I can make my life in NTU a better one. My fellow poly friends are opting for extemptions while I will just pass. I am afraid that I may miss out important stuff that is vital to the degree. Dun ask me what they may be, coz I may just flip.. I dunno okay? I am too prudent a person. I wish sometimes I can just leave all emtional, or spritual or mental baggage aside and have fun, do all I dream of doing. And yes, I am depressed again. I guess this will be the most turmoil period of my life... Up and down the emtional scale. It may not be a bad thing...

A transition in life

It's amazing how one day of activity can change your mood, and more dramatically, your preception in life.

I am not feeling to well these days. I finally experienced FAILURE. Honestly, I have never suffered through failure, but these few days made me realise that I am not such a perfect and wonderful person anymore.

I told myself just 2 days ago that I have to lower standards of myself. No matter how good I am, there will still be someone better than me. I have to live with the fact that I cannot be at the top all the while.

I guess I am really in a different phase in life now. I am learning a lot things the hard way now. I am glad it's now and not later actually. At least I can still afford to make mistakes without much consequences.

I have to adapt to so many things now. I have to learn to take my stand and not be afraid to break the norm. I really wonder, do I have to do what other people feel that it is correct to get agreement? Why do we need agreement? I wonder...

I am not doing well in Uni. Not for my first assignment. I expect myself to do well but I did not. I may be too full of myself.

Is being the top of everything, everything in life?

Kenny, you said life may be a journey and not a destination? May be? I sort of agree and do not agree. Yes, without a destination, there will not be a journey. But what I was saying is that if we are too focus on the end, we will not be able to enjoy the process which may holds more meaning that the end can bring. The end is just a goal. It's how you reach your goal that matters not how well your goals are achieved. How many of us can say that the end result that we receive is usually what we hope it will be? Not all the time...

Read my sister's blog and this sentence striked me:

PUT ON A SAFETY BELT AND MOVE ON IN LIFE

What does that mean? Someone enlighten me....

I cannot believe it!

Was setting up a blog for Ah~Pella and somehow erased my html codes. I am that good! To think that I have not save the codes earlier on. I thought nothing would happen. I cannot believe it! Now I have to live without a lot of stuff.. Well, maybe that's fine also. I need to get all my pals bloggie address back, so please leave a tag or comment or something with ur blog add.. Will add them real soon... Thanks.. Where I am? That has become an useless question. The library of course! Suppose to do my work but ended up doing all other stuff.. Haiz, I lack discipline! Tell me what to do!? Btw, I finally met Wai Peng in school...

Fireworks, jokes and kite flying

Something I got from the Reader's Digest

On his first day, a newcomer to prison heard the other inmates roar with laughter each time one of them called out a number. Mystified by this, he asked his cellmate what was happening. "We know all our jokes so well that, to save time retelling them, we've numbered them," he was told.Thinking he would join in, the newcomer shouted "208." To his amazement, the whole prison shook with laughter. The cellmate wiped tears from his eyes and commented, "We hadn't heard that one before."

I simply laughed my head off this joke. I find it really funny somehow. Check out www.rdasia.com for much more funny jokes. Oh, not to mention the word games too, they are simply great.

I spent one of the most enjoyable weekend with my pals last week! We had like Indonesian food for two days straight @ different restaurants from Suntec City. I have to say it's different from other food that we eat on other days. Eating those food in such classy restaurant almost led me into thinking that I am on a vacation on some exotic island. Haha..

Went to East Coast to kayak on Sunday morning then to Parkway Parade to look for Hui's mum. Afterwhich we went to the game arcade and had some childish but great fun. We were practically hooked on a few games there. There was this skateboarding game, another waterskiing game and a water rafting game that we cannot stop playing! We had exceptional fun on that water rafting game machine. It so tiring! You have to row the oar so hard and so fast that I thought I could lose my arms! Haha... Jianming and Kenny rowed so fast that the computer have to prompt them not to do so... My gosh. The ultimate thing is I actually developed blisters and broke them. Wonder where I got those blisters from in the first place.

Went to catch the NDP fireworks @ Marina South. Well, we didn't reach our destination like immediately. We were walking and walking along the road to Esplanade not knowing where to go at first. THere were so many security guards on duty. So ultimately we went to Marina South and spent the rest of the evening there... First for the fireworks, then we bought two kites and mini 'fireworks' and played at the field. Honestly Kenny, how can you get so excited with a few bunches of sparkles that goes off in a while? Haha.. My gosh. He was simply running around the field with the sparkles and shouting like a little kid. At least Jianming was more tame. Haha... And not to forget to mention that we flew kite as well... At night that is. And the kites flew so high up that we could not even locate them... Had a hard time retrieving the line back.

Anyway, that marked the end of the weekend. And now? I am in the library again. Waiting for time to pass. This is how I spend time.

Haiz. I realise that I have spent so much time playing that I do not have time to organise my school work. Have quite a bit of presentation notes to prepare and stuff. I really need to tone down a bit and start to be a little more studious.

I hope I can.... haha.. =P

Long Weekend!

Long weekend! Finally, 1 more day in the week for me to play and hangout with friends! Nope.. I am not going to complain this week... In fact I just wanna say that I am finally out of the 'dreading to go to school' syndrome.. Hee... I am finally dancing in sync with the cirriculum.. Haiz.. I am quite glad really. Anyway, I cannot wait to for the graduation ceremony this coming Thursday. Am already planning what to wear. Haha.. So glad that I can finally meet my friends. To date, I am a proud owner of a thumb drive. It cost me $89 bucks! My gosh. But I cannot admit the fact that it is very convenient! Bought a skirt over the weekend... Floral patterns and flare hemline.. So feminie.. So not me.. But I love it! And seriously speaking I have not bought anything for such a long time. I have really ran out of stuff to write. My brain is so stagnant! Probably next week I can write more interesting stuff....

The Ultimate 'Briefing'

On Wednesday in school.. We had a briefing for all the polytechnic students in CS 1... I will not comment but it was not as good as I hope it would turn out to be... At the end of the briefing, some of us just gathered at Canteen B and bitched... Mind you it's not only gals... And well bitching is a bad word, we had a constructive discussion and made some discrimating conclusion... Again, I shall not note it down... You never know who reads your blog..

Weekend coming soon and I cannot wait to jump into it... Need to work on Saturday though so not too much of a rest anyway.. Graduation coming! Next Thursday... Anticipating the day coz I'll get to see all my beloved friends again. I cannot wait to 'bitch' with them again. Perhaps it's time to look for clothes? Maybe.. I am now a poor student leh... Guess I will talk to my lecturers in poly regarding extemptions in Uni.. See what they think.

Finally, with my upmost hardworking-ship I finished my ever first assignment in NTU. Haha.. It's quite hard to do actually. Some mass media review thingy where you compare 2 terribly serious and political and slightly boring article and come up with a thesis statement. Hope I won't fail. Ha!

Readings VS Rantings

2nd week in school and I am dying.. I think no matter which week it is, I would still say that I am dying.. Finally saw that 'famous' Joanne Peh in school today, well? She does not look that great anyway.. But she does have this charisma and charm thingy.. Right so she does stand out a bit.. Anyway, so far apart from all the terrible readings and stuff I have to do, I am begining to enjoy uni life a bit. At least my friends, (erm, I haven't met my tutorial mates actually) are nice people. There are a few, well, those type that you just dun like, around... But I hope I'll survive... So like in Poly we have this Balckboard thingy where stuff are posted online.. The amazing thing is the discussion board, especially for this subject we call Electronic Broadcast Media (EBM). Everyone's so keen to answer everyone else questions. If you did not check for say 1 day, you'll get at least 50-80 new messages or threads it is called. Crazy... Now... They are even talking about stuff out of the subject. They are talking about stuff for other subjects... Hello? This is not MIRC or something... Where am I now? In the Library... Waiting for the next lecture to start. So just trying to pass some time.. I guess those poeple who are waiting for terminals and see that I am actually doing something 'non-school' would want to kill me.. But hey.. First come first serve man... Till then...

Freshman Syndrome

Hi there people... School just started.. And it is horrible.. The expectations of the Profs are so high. I cannot fly you know, how can I reach them. Or maybe they are all trying to scare us first. We'll just have to see about it. I missed TP. Perhaps it's the ambuguity in NTU that makes me feel that way. Haven't been to tutorials yet, so wondering if I can find any good friends. Haiz... I hate all this stuff, getting to know everything from scratch again. It's so easy to spot a freshman in the school. Those who the blur look and a map in the hands. We have FRESHMAN printed on our fore heads and PLEASE HELP ME flashing on our shirts. Man.. Haha.. The past 2 days have been happening in school. We have a bazaar going on @ North Spine. Selling lots of nice stuff but I am too broke to buy anyway.. After all the textbooks and stuff.. Hope to write real soon, in mean time check out www.moblog.com.sg. My nick's smurfette... For fun laughter peace and joy... Take care!

Qualifying Discriminating Test?

Yesterday was my official last day in the office... Hee... Honestly, I am quite happy about it. Coz finally I get to settle a lot of my personal stuff that I otherwise may not have the time to. Just got my timetable… Seriously? It's kind of horrible. The lessons are so spread out! On Wednesday for example, I have a lecture from 8.30am to 10.30am, and a tutorial from 4.30pm to 7pm… A break time totalling 6 hours! My gosh… It would be good for me if I am staying in the Hall, at least I can go catch a nap. Looks like I can go teach tuition, if available for that period of time.. We'll see about that soon. Went back to NTU this morning for a Qualifying English test.. Essay writing of about 250 - 300 words on either 1) Music Downloading and your views or 2) Euthanasia and your views. I choose the second one. Mercy killing in layman terms. Honestly, I think I did not do a very good job on that essay. But it's too late now anyway. I wrote something like mercy killing is justified. This option should be available to whoever who needs it. I mean, ultimately, you control your own life, religion and traditions aside. If one day you feel that you cannot bear the suffering of being terminally ill (you are not going to get well anyway), I feel that it is a better way to end all the sufferings and to die with dignity rather than piling on to the medical bills and burden all your family members. This is not about moral values. This is about human rights. Outsiders do not know how the patient feels. The patient should have the rights to say yes or no to euthanasia. Whatever it is, I hope my paper doesn't get marked down just because the examiner feels that I have screw-up moral values. Haha… Come to think about it, my paper might not be marked at all. My friends from NTU told me that they select the papers to mark randomly… So it all about luck... But still, if you are good enough, you should not worry about being selected. Yep… After looking at some of the students and course mate of mine, I feel that I might have problem fitting in. Many of them seem so 'young and naïve'. I am serious. They reminded me of kids just out of 'O' levels. When I was on the bus to the school, a bunch of girls were all so giggly and talking about erm, adolescent topics. But then again, they are a year younger and probably from JC and thus my opinion of them being less street smart. Not that I am trying to say all JC students are like that, it is just the few that I met today. Oh, and I worry for their sense of dressing too. Not that I dress very well but they dress worst than a lot of people I see on the streets. Okay, it's a matter of opinion again.. I am being such a bitch here… Criticising other people… Who am I to do that? Oh dear, I better not turn into one of the Plastics in Mean Girls. It’s bad… What's happening to me? Well… Maybe I am just trying to get myself heard… Also did I mention that NTU is like a huge maze? I spent like 20 minutes looking for the LT that I was suppose to go. Even a Prof I approached for directions sent me going the wrong way. In the end, it was a cleaner who directed me correctly… It shows that every person matters, no matter who you are!

What Name Should I Have??

What Name Should You Have? by Lauren

Wait a minute.. My name is already Jade.. My dialect name? Geok Choon=Yu Chun= "Jade Spring".... hahaha.. Fated..

I am a MERMAID??!!

You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes shipwrecks find you and raving men want you. You are a bottle of talent and power. What the unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a very few of you, what a rare find. Will you rate my quiz, I think your voice in just beautiful? What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics) brought to you by Quizilla

I am 10 years old~~

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost in a good book, or giggling with my best friend, I live in a world apart, one full of adventure and wonder and other stuff adults don't understand. How Old is Your Inner Child? brought to you by Quizilla

The Nightmare

I had what Huiz and Kenny would call a nightmare last night.. Haha.. To me it is just an amusing dream.. Well, I dreamt that the 3 of us just arrive in Thailand airport. And it so happens that I lost them in the crowd.. So i decided to leave the airport (erm w/o claiming the luggage) and look for the hotel thinking that I could meet the both of them there.. Anyway, so I walk out of the airport and to my amazement, I manage to find the hotel without any help or any map. Not forgetting that the hotel is within walking distance to the airport.. Haha.. How is that possible when the Bangkok airport is 40 mins away from the city.. So I reach the hotel and walk around looking for my 2 friends, but of course I cannot find them. Somehow, I saw someone I know (erm.. Nicole, haha) and I wanted to borrow her handphone (why? coz in real life my hp have no auto-roaming) but was rejected... Just then i heard a handphone ringing.. It was coming from my backpack... Okay.. So apparently Kenny left his phone in my bag and it was Huiz using hers to call me. Haha.. But I did not pick up on time.. They hung.. So happily, I called back huiz.. And I got a scolding from them like why i left without telling them and stuff... They scolded me even more when I told them I have not claim my luggage.. hee.. That's it.. The dream ended there.. haha... I think when Huiz and Kenny read this, they are really praying that it won't happen when we leave for our trip.. Sentiments exactly... But wait a minute.. It would be fun that way...

松尾美紅

My japanese name is 松尾 Matsuo (tail of a pine tree) 美紅 Miku (beautiful crimson). Take your real japanese name generator! today! Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

The University of Blogging Presents to Elaine Lim An Honorary Bachelor of Non Sequiturs Majoring in Attention Seeking Signed Dr. GoQuiz.com ®

Username:

Blogging Degree From Go-Quiz.com Attention seeking?? Haha.. What do you guys think?

hee.. quite fun huh.. Compliments from Nad's blog..

Vietnam

Vietnam Part 1

Hanoi City Scene

Fun time @ the Hanoi Military Museum Tower

I have decided not to post photos.. haha.. I am lousy at such things.. Nevertheless, I have decided to change a template.. Well.. I have to admit that I love the previous template but it's time to change.. haha.. anyway.. do check out my phlog.. Welcome to the blogging community Lian!! haha.. update soon...

Peeps.. Will be uploading pics of Vietnam soon.. In meantime, please read the story below.. Need to go write my reports (yes, reportS) for the trip.. Haiz..

Good or Bad, Hard to Say?

Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice. Therefore the king took him along wherever he went. One day, the king was bitten by a dog, the finger was injured and the wound was getting worse. He asked the follower if that was a bad sign. The follower said, Good or bad, hard to say'. In the end, the finger of the king was too bad that had to be cut. The king asked the follower again if that was a bad sign. Again, the follower gave the same answer, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. The king became very angry and sent the follower to prison. One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. In the end he found himself lost in the jungle. To make thing worse, he got captured by the native people lived inside the jungle. They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger short, they released him immediately as he was not a perfect man anymore and not suitable for sacrifice. The king managed to get back to his palace after all. And he finally understood the follower's wise quote, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. If he hadn't lost one finger, he could have been killed by the native people. He ordered to release the follower, and apologized to him.But to the king amaze, the follower was not mad at him at all. Instead, the follower said, 'It wasn't a bad thing that you locked me up.' Why? Because if the king hadn't locked the follower up, he would have brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used the follower. Again, the quote 'Good or bad, hard to say' stands. The moral of the story Everything that happens in this world, there is no absolute good or bad. Sometimes good things turned out to be bad things eventually, while bad things become a gain. Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it, but don't have to hold too tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life.Whatever bad things that happen to you, don't have to feel to sad or despair, in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all.If one can understand this, he or she will find life much easier.

I"M BACK

Yes... I am back since last friday.. The trip to Viet Nam (yes, that's how they spell it, two different words) was indeed fruitful.. I would have to say that I learnt a lot from the conference and Viet Nam, but i have to admit that I learnt more about life.. Non-conference Stuff.. The flight to Viet Nam was quite okie, I watch Dirty Dancing Havana Nights on Krisworld.. Yes I know it is quite an old show but it is my first time watching it.. Did I mention that the hotel that we stayed at is extremely posh? Haha.. Well, it is a business hotel with conference facility, so obviously it has to be that way. This Melia Hanoi Hotel sits in the center of the busy city, with a wide contrast of buildings and facilities. The right hand side of the hotel is a wet (and i mean wet and slippery and dirty and smelly and.. well you get the idea)market. Explore once or twice there during my free time and i nearly slip and fall onto the wet dirty ground.. Yucks.. Thank goodness that I manage to prevent that disaster from happening.. Oh my... I have to write this, they eat dogs.. Roasted! And the hawkers just out them on their table tops as if they are selling whole pigs or chickens... I freaked out! Further down there is this Singapore-Viet Nam Training centre.. As the name suggest, Singapore agencies conduct training workshops there and i think it is a business building.. And it's a shopping mall as well, okie, a single level shopping mall... Nothing there at all.. I go there for the sake of, (dun kill me) air conditioning. The left hand side of the hotel are all the various retail shops and embassies and living quarters and some building of some sort. Everything's in a loop, so you know what i mean i guess. Big Big circles and loops. The Singapore delegation even sat at a 'roadside stall' (READ: LU BIAN TAN) and ordered coconuts. Just right beside the main traffic road. Yes, it is crazy and polluted too, but i have no complaints. Well in Viet Nam, there's practically no night life.. Singaporeans are lucky enough. How about a few pubs, KTV and cafes that opened until about 3am, 1 movie theatre (no midnight wor) and no 24 hr convenient stores. Know what I mean now? I was in the city and no such things.. Be thankful man. Did i mention that ATMs are hardly to be found? The only one I see is outside the hotel. How about 3 pavillion riders on a motor bike? A dog? A baby in a cradle? Yes, you can see that all in Viet Nam.. The most outragous one I saw was ---> ONE Father (driver) OneMother, TWO kids (one 'bout 10 yrs, the other 5?) and a small black dog. Yes, on a scooter.. Fun ya? More like dangerous with all that terrible traffic that came from all directions. And they really make use of the honks.. Beep Beep Beep everywhere, I can even hear it from my hotel room on the 19th storey. Crossing roads there is definitely an ART, the trick? -KEEPING WALKING AND DONT LOOK BACK. NO 'GOS-TAN' RULE APPLY. Now the sad things... Well, as a country in the early developing stage, poverty can be seem quite commonly. There would be beggars on the street running after the tourists and asking for money. These are usually very old people and they carry young children on their backs. Another group is young children, probably the oldest I saw was 12, going around selling postcards and books. They are very agressive and they stick and follow you for quite a distance. It's pretty scary. One of them, when rejected,screamed at the top of her voice "You think you very big is it? Who you think you are?" and some other things in Vietnamese which I choose not to explain. It is sad, but we cannot give them the money as this might encourage them to beg. It is very heart breaking. While we are here talking about the cost of the new SUV or MPV, we seldom think about the less fortunate people in the world. We all have different level of needs. This trip really brought me back to reality to realise that there are people and issues that are more important than LV is having a 50% sale or your boyfriend decided to call it quits. I hope that I can do something about it. Conference Sustainable development. 'CHIM' subject. I was actually the youngest delegate there with the least knowledge about SD and the one with one of the lowest 'status' in the youth organisations that the rest represent. I think I did my best for the conference. It has been a fruitful experience for me learning new things and making new friends. I have also come to realise that I am thankful I did not accept the offer from NUS Arts and Social Science Faculty because I may end up doing Political Science. Politics is scary, personal agenda is even worst. SD in Singapore is quite standard. We are pretty well developed. Poverty is minimum, hunger problems are negligible. Yep. We are pretty okay. Other aspect are quite normal so we are fine. That's all I will say here. I will be writing more in my report to National YOuth Council, tell me if you want to read it.. Haha.. I doubt anyone will be happy to. It is going to be dry. Better stop. Or there will be no end to this entry... long and not very interesting.

hello everyone... I am right here in Changi Airport T2.. Nothing to do so i thought I would just write a few words... That's about all actually.. Just a few words.. Just passing time... okie then.. Will be back on Friday evening...

How to make a Elaine

Ingredients: 1 part competetiveness 5 parts silliness 5 parts empathy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lustfulness to taste! Do not overindulge!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Sounds like 'Elaine' is a pathethic soul.. haha.. Let's try with my dialect name...

How to make a Geok Choon

Ingredients: 3 parts friendliness 1 part ambition 5 parts joy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little emotion if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Hmmm... Better huh.. At least 'Geok Choon' sounds like a fun person...

Today is Wednesday already... haiz.. Time files.. So for sure I am going to Vietnam.. Leaving coming Monday.. So if you want gifts, be nice to me ya.. Haha.. My younger sis started school in TP already.. So weird.. Was 'staring' at her when she was doing her econs tutorial.. Reminds me of how I was like in Year 1.. These few days at work was extremely tiring. Early Monday morning I was at Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Sec for an event.. Well, we invited the media before hand but most of them said that they would not cover the event.. But in the end, a lot came.. And I have to entertain them.. The CNA reporter wanted to interview my boss, but he felt that I was a better representative as I am a youth.. So I 'kanna'.. And when I saw that report on TV that night, I freaked out.. I LOOKED SO WEIRD!! But luckily, I wasn't stammering.. Haha.. Whatever it is, it was a fun experience.. hee.. Part of what I do in HEartware includes writing sponsorship letters.. After so many rejections, we finally got a cheque from one bathroom equipment company... haha.. So my hard work paid off and I am glad.. Anyway.... Btw, Shopping anyone??

With the web counter, I am actually surprise at the number of people that visit my site per day.. I always thought that probably only 1 or 2 hits per day.. BUt I was wrong.. Haha... oh well... Anyway.. This week has been terrible for me.. Rush and rush and rush.. So much work to little time... Plus lots of meetings as well... I can be so troublesome at times. I complain when I have nothing to do. I complain when I have too much to do. I complain and complain, but in the end i just compromise. Am I normal or what? Haiz.. Was thinking about the people that have been in and out of my life recently. It is amazing how one can be your close friend or rather someone you hangout with suddenly or after a while becomes an accquintance. Funny how the world works. Even funnier how human relationships work.. Recently doing a lot of research on a dry topic call SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT. Well, admitedly, it can be interesting.. IT talks about development which meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs... Haha.. I know it sounds profound. IN actual fact, all such developments can be seen or heard in the everyday's life. Since I am going for the trip to Vietnam FOC, I might as well make my best out of it and not waste resources. Ah.. That is sustainable development for myself... Never mind about that.. Do you know that the Army camps like the one at Mandai Hill is actually very nice and comfy? I have always thought that camps should be in dull colours and run-down. No man.. The Mandai Hill camp, if you happen to pass by, will realise that it is actually in pastel pink or biege, depending on how you see it.. Haha.. Looks more like a resort or club rather than a army camp.

Been a few days since I have been back from the Orientation camp.. Was really tiring and at times irritating.. But ultimately, I had great fun during the entire duration... great.. My dear empire Putus even dedicated a website for all the freshmen and GLs.. So nice of them... check it out @ http://enraged.pure-fm.net/putus/# As for now, it is back to worl at Heartware.. A change in job scope recently.. I am doing more of publicity and writing articles for our website and newsletter instead of all the marketing stuff.. Really enjoyed going to work these days... As the day of admission to NTU draws nearer, my level of uncertainty grows significantly.. I am worried about so many things.. so many things, so much that I cannot list them down... My pals and I have come to a point in life where we can only meet at weekends.. No more weekday cheap movies or dinners.. Everyone's busy with their own career or studies.. Haiz... Well, I would have to get used to it. Most probably will be leaving for Vietnam for some YOuth Dialouge thingy this late June.. Hope I will have fun there.. But having looked at the schedule, it seems like it is going to be quite dry.. Oh well.. I better do some research before I go there, or else I will be a total freak... Hope to write soon.. Gotta go off for a meeting with ComfortDelgro...

I have no inspiration to write. Blank Blank Blank Block Block Block

I have never done so much belaying in my life before. I have also not done belaying till I flew off the ground. All these happened today though.. Haha.. Went to conduct some adventure learning programme for the GLs. Thankfully the weather wasn't that hot. It was just terribly humid. My arms are aching like crazy now. To think about it I have belayed about 30++ people today. Oh, and I must mention, all sizes. So much so that I even got lifted off the ground. Well, although once or twice my sub-belayers played a trick on me; instead of pulling me down, they lifted me up... Well.. It was fun though. I am not feeling well though.. Think I have caught a cold.. Well actually got a cold since 3 days ago.. Might be developing a cough too.. The chesty type... Haiz.. Poor body of mine. Some of the GLs this year were also my fellow GLs back in year 1. A few of them mentioned that I have been MIA for so long and have not seen me. Well.. I think to a certain extend, I sort of disappear after my very active involvement in school activities in year 1. Year 2 and 3 in poly was more like for study and minimal participation in other activities. Things I sacrifice for the sake of better grades. I think they are more amazed like why did I suddenly appear 'online' again, but this time round as the main committee for orientation. Haha.. I find it weird too.. I did, coz of a favor for my friends... That's why... I think I am blabbering a lot.. Incoherent thoughts too.. Perhaps I am too sick and tired... Shall head to bed...

I am amazed at how my mood can change from joyous one moment and depressed the next. I think I finally understand why Huiz could not forget a particular 'C'. Well... I myself could not forget what I have once shared with another 'C' too. I just cannot let it go. I think I should hate myself for that. Whenever I see him, my train of thoughts go bizzare. It has been so long, this unfinished business of ours, but I still very uncomfortable and uneasy talking to him. I am totally hopeless... I have always tell myself that I should just forget about this matter completely. I should just learn to accept the fact that the reality is as real as it is and nothing ever changes just because I hope it will. I should not hold on to something that,that is not worth the wait anymore. Come to think about it, I am not waiting. I am just contemplating, reflecting, mulling over, whatever... Huiz have told me over and over again that he is a jerk and he is not worth me thinking anymore. Honestly? I tried my best. However, it just comes to me whenever I see him.. I am such a useless person. Boy problem. Not exactly. It is not easy to find someone I like. I have not had this feeling for quite sometime. He was almost my light.. An enlightment that I can still care for someone. I am not positive about the prospect of relationships anymore. Did I mention that this unfinished business happened more than 2 years ago?

I hate it when I get emotional.

Time sure passes quickly. So fast that there is hardly time left for us to catch our breath before proceeding to another activity. Every single thing seems to be rushing to come next in line. Last Thursday was an enjoyable day for me. Besides hanging out with my secondary friends at Sentosa in the morning, I went for dinner with my primary school mates whom I have not met for an extremely long time. Meeting both my secondary school and primary school friends on the same day brought back a lot of memories and flashback of events that happened in those years of my life. It is always good to meet up with people whom you have known almost all your life. It is amazing enough just to think that these people have been part of my life for the past 13 years or so. In the past, everyday was filled with just school work and play. Oh, and sorting out this thing call friendship too... For example, 'I will pretend to be friends with Mary.' or 'I think i dun want to be friends with John.' Oh well... Then 2 days later, everyone's friends with everyone again. Amazing creatures we are when we were young. We can be so forgiving, or maybe that is being naive, but either way, life was less complicated as compared to now. Anyway, back to the gathering. Everyone knows that the food served at Marina South isn't that fantastic. However, I had a terrific time with my pals. There was endless chatter and reminiscene of the 6 years we spent in Poi Ching School. My limited vocabulary prevents me from describing the fantastic time and the enmorous amount of chemistry that we have. In short, great! I want to achieve a lot of things in life. I want to do a lot of things before I turn 30. It is scary to think that being 30 would just be a blink of an eye away. I mean, look at the rate time passes.. 10 years could come and go just like that.... I have great hopes for my future. And I hope that it will not disappoint me and I will not disappoint myself. ::Learn to play the piano:: ::Learn to play the guitar:: ::Have a stable income:: ::Be respected by many:: ::Lots of lesiure time:: ::Endless vacations to go:: ::Love myself more:: ::Love my family more:: ::Embrace my present life:: ::Eagerly anticipate my future::

No, I am not trying to be a show off here.. I am just putting the last entry as a for your information thingy. YOu can choose to ignore it or choose to read it.. Hee.. Anyway.. I am pretty worried now that I have gotten a place in the course. I have been thinking for the past few days about the consequences if I do not do as well as the JCs students in the same course. My pals have assured me that I will not 'lose' to them as the education in poly would have me be more versatile, flexible and market driven. Hopefully I won't let myself down. Well i guess that means working extremely hard for reasonable grades. At the same time, I would need to think about how I can study and find a part time tuition job or something to fund myself through school. All these stuff have weigh me down so much. I really hope that things would work out fine. This morning I met one of my secondary school mates at the bus interchange. She seems different now with her long hair. It is always nice to see someone familiar early in the morning... We spoke for about 2 minutes before departing.. I really hoped that we could have spent a longer period of time catching up. I am now wondering what she is doing since she had graduated from JC. Probably in NUS or something.. Another one of my pal asked me whether he should pursue his further studies based on his interest or based on the career prospects. Well.. Obviously I would pursue my dreams, because I believe that it is very important to enjoy what we do so as to do well in it. If we pursue what we think would be good for us but not something we enjoy, it would probably kill the joy in doing anything.. Well.. Either ways there are pros and cons i guess.. Just have to make sure that at the end of the day, we do not regret our decisions. I realise how much i missed being a younger child where I will not be bothered by issues in life. Well i guess life is much easier as I do not understand why those issue exist and why we should be bothered by it. Haiz... Well.. It is good to dream once in a while but we should never look back.. I will have to look forward and treasure all the time I have..

Nanyang Technological University Office of Admissions Level 2 Administrative Annexe 42 Nanyang Avenue Singapore 639815 11 May 2004 Lim Geok Choon 99 Lorong 9 Toa Payoh #99-99 Singapore 999999 Dear Miss Lim Congratulations! The University Admission Selection Committee has approved your application admission to Nanyang Technological University (NTU) to study a course in COMMUNICATION STUDIES This is a provisional offer made to you. The offer will be confirmed subject to satisfactory performance in your final semester results. Please proceed to accept this course at our website by 24 MAY 2004 and submit your final semester results to us. We wish you all the best and look forward to your enrolment into NTU Yours faithfully Prof Victor Choa Dean of Admmissions, NTU

Back once again.. The past weekend was both depressing and enjoyable. Depressing Was anxiously waiting for my results to be released via SMS. It finally came late on Friday afternoon when I least expected it to come... Oh well.. I was stunned for a moment, and my brain could not processed the information. I was like staring at some foreign and weird inscriptions. Haha... Well... The result was not too bad. But like what Kenny said, 'This result is the best that I can get, but definitely not up to your own standards.' Haha.. Actually he is right. I wasn't truly satisfied, but come to think about it, I should not be so greedy. Afterall, I know that I am not that good for the type of results I was hoping to get... Then when my pal I was with got her results, it was terrible too. She was also not satisfied with what she got. I was shocked at what she got too.. I mean, she does not deserve to get that kind of lousy grade. I felt very sad for her too, but I ain't very good at consoling people. Seems like she knows the reason why she got that kind of grade, but she seems reluntant to tell.. Haiz.. Enjoyable The rest of the weekend was enjoyable. Went to my pal's diploma show and was pretty impressed by the setup at the St. James Powerhouse. It looked so daliapliated from the outside, but the inside was all different, with the runway for the show, booths and stuff. Thought Huiz looked great in the POA jacket she bought. It looked so warm and cosy in the cold hall and it fitted her well. I think Huiz always knows what suits her best. haha... Afterwhich I went to places.. Place after place. Reached home only at 5am the next morning... Well, haven't done that for a long long while. Was enjoyable. I even tried cosmic bowling for the first time, and eating ice cream 3am in the morning at Swenson's. Some kind of experience ya... ***************************************************************************************** Well.. painfully waiting for my letter of acceptance from NTU. Went to their website to check out the Communications Studies cirriculum again. The more I look at it, the more tempted I am. I have even decided what to major in.. Haha.. But if I got in, I would have to think about the school fees... Haiz.. My life seems to have an endless supply of problems. Waiting and waiting... Boring passage ya.. Haiz.. What to do, I am sometimes a boring person... No time to write philosophical essays...

All right.. After so long of inactivity, I am back.... But this is not gonna be a long entry... Just jotting down some thoughts... It is amazing how I can be so depressed one moment and crazy the next. Last Saturday morning, I was feeling like crap. Like nothing in the world matters nor does anyone cared about me... Then after hanging out with my pals, I felt like I am the most fortunate and happiest person on Earth. Why is this so? Someone tell me please...

I think I have been strike with the Season of Depression again.. Haiz... Everything seems so gloom to me.. Everyone seems to be so unkind to me.. Everyday seems like another 24 whole hours of torture... I thought about quite a lot of things these few days.. I realised that many a times, we take our good friends for granted. It is like we have the mentality that says 'Since we have been friends for so long, a lot of things doesn't matter anymore. You should know me long enough tolerate my temper and accept my flaws.. You should be understanding!' Something along that line.. haha.. We tend to expect too much from those closest to us. Just like how I would like my sister to think beyond her 17 years in this world. I expect my friends to hang out with me lots. I expect a lot a lot more things.. Things that I would not expect from 'other' people and not expect others to expect of me... Ah... Crap.. What happened to me? What am i exactly trying to say?? Well.. I guess there are times where we humans felt this way and are a bit selfish, all I am trying to say is that we need to remind ourselves that no matter how close your friend or siblings are with you, we would still need to remember not to take them for granted.. Saying a simple thank you when they offer to take your shopping bags or offer to buy you a drink would be significant enough... At least that's what i think....

So finally after so much complain about why i have not updated my blog I have announced that I have switched to another home... Hope everything will be great here.... Anyway.. Just last weekend, I went to Tioman with a few of my pals and man, we had a great time.. Check out the pics here.. Went for a interview at NTU yesterday regarding my application for the Communications undergraduate course that I want to take.. Think it was okay.. Honestly, I am still not sure whether i should study or work.. Guess my application was more like for fun.. Haha.. I dunno.. Will think about it real soon.. That is after I have enough of my freedom.... hee.. That's all for now....

I have been trying since to make this new blog look nice.. But still need sometime to make good progress.. So i think a 2 months lead time is jsut nice.. Haha.. So in meantime, pardon me for the ugliness of the blog... LOL E*GC

This will be a start for my new blog... Hee.. Hopefully i will be able to move everything from my old blog to here... Check this out soon....